New Words
by Bralt
Summary: WARNING: DOES NOT ACTUALLY CONTAIN FOUL LANGUAGE. Halt isn't the nicest when it comes to words, what happens when Gilan learns a little something from him?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

**Okay, I know I should be writing Medical Leave but you know, this funny idea came to mind**

**P.S. Just a nice reminder that I'm a beta reader**

Halt cursed again as the hammer slipped and smashed his finger against the wood. A few days earlier Abelard had kicked a panel out of place when Halt had refused to feed him his twentieth apple. Halt had decided it was time to fix it and so far it wasn't going so well. He dropped the hammer and held his pulsing thumb that was red from all the times it had been hit. After several more curses he straightened and glared at the shelter for a few moments. As he muttered a few more curses that would have shocked a Skandian, he was suddenly aware of a new presence emerging from the shadows of the nearby trees. He lowered his hand and glared at Gilan as he came closer with a smile on his face.

"And where the devil have you been? You said you were going to get bread three hours ago," Halt said as he glared at his apprentice.

"I got a little sidetracked." Gilan smiled again as he saw his mentor's red thumb and the hammer lying nearby. "Those where some interesting words you said back there," Gilan said as he looked at Halt. Halt continued to glare at him.

"Just don't repeat them." Halt looked up at the sun; it was a few hours till the sunset. Making up his mind Halt turned back to Gilan. "Fix up the loose board then come inside for supper; and this time don't take three hours." Halt turned away from his apprentice before he could object and headed inside to make supper with his still hurting thumb.

Gilan smiled at his mentor's back; it was a week before the Gathering where he would have to demonstrate what Halt had taught him and he planned to demonstrate _everything _Halt had taught him. Even the newly acquired words he had just gathered.

Crowley looked at the tree line trying to spot the first year apprentice that he knew was darting around in there. Gilan had proven he was a remarkable master of unseen movement and now he was being tested for his bronze oak leaf. Crowley couldn't help but smile as he saw a tuft of grass pop back into place, marking the passage of somebody, the boy was good but he couldn't help his natural weight. Crowley's eyes quickly darted around, assessing every path he could have taken from that patch of grass. He was about to call out to the apprentice to tell him the assessment was done when he heard a startled yell, a splash and finally some words that would have gotten a child slapped. Shocked, Crowley stood still and snapped his vision onto the muddy figure emerging from the forest still muttering words.

Despite himself, Crowley couldn't help but laugh. Halt however glared at the man beside him. Crowley failed to pass the laughter off as a coughing fit and they waited for Gilan to come over to them. As he approached them he saw Halt's glare and smiled inside; his plan had worked and they had heard the words.

"Nice mud; makes you blend in well with the surroundings," Crowley said with a smile. Halt on the other hand was as grim as ever. Crowley briefly wondered why when the answer came to him and he looked at the boy disapprovingly. "Where did that language come from? Didn't your mother teach you better than that?" Crowley asked, suddenly serious.

"Yes, my mother always told me that if I said anything like that she'd tan my backside so hard that I wouldn't be able to sit for weeks on end," Gilan said truthfully while wiping the mud off his eyelids. Crowley frowned at him.

"Then why did you say them?" Crowley asked confused.

"I don't know, it just seemed right. When I learned them they were used as a sign of anger," Gilan said while he shot a look at Halt. He swore the Ranger's eyes widened a bit.

"Well where did you learn them?" Crowley pressed. He glanced at Halt who gave a slight shrug.

"Well…" Gilan looked at Halt and hid the smile at how his mentor was shooting him a warning with the look that would send a Kalkara back where it came from. "I don't want to get anybody in trouble."

"Tell me, and you're punishment won't be as severe," Crowley said sternly.

"I don't understand why I'm in trouble though," Gilan said in a confused tone. Halt raised his eyebrows. "The whole purpose of this assessment is to see what I've learned." Crowley motioned for him to go on. "And Halt taught me this, whenever he gets angry or frustrated he uses the words and then he seems better. I was just trying to be like him," Gilan said innocently.

Crowley turned towards the grizzled man beside him who was glaring daggers at Gilan. "Halt, I thought I told you not to do this after a first year last year picked up on it," Crowley said, Halt gave a slight shrug. "I warned you last time, you know what the punishment is." Halt's eyes widened.

"No Crowley, I'm not a little child, you can't do that to me," Halt protested. Crowley just shook his head and pointed towards the tents where Halt would have to retrieve his punishment. "If I have to do it then so do you, I seemed to have heard you mention some things this morning when the coffeepot burned you," Halt said with a look of amusement in his eyes. This time Crowley's eyes grew large.

"No, Halt I'm the commandant," Crowley said hastily. Halt shook his head.

"No, no. Rules are rules, I have to get my mouth washed out and so do you."

**This was originally meant to be a one-shot but if you think it ended badly then I can write another chapter for it. So PLEASE review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

Gilan followed energetically as Crowley and Halt started towards the command tent where they would get soap then head to the creek that ran through the middle of the Gathering Grounds where punishments were generally held. On their way Gilan stopped several Rangers to tell them about what was going to happen. They rushed away with grins to go spread the word. By the time the trio had made it to the small creek all forty eight Rangers were waiting not so patiently. Gilan smiled and waved to several of them while Halt shot him glares.

"See what you're stupid cursing has gotten us into?" Crowley mumbled to Halt as he looked at the assembled.

"It wasn't me that decided there should be a punishment for a little creative language," Halt shot back grimly. Crowley shook his head; he had to set an example.

"Welcome," Gilan called when they reached the edge of the water. Halt and Crowley stood awkwardly while the Rangers formed a semi-circle around them. "I would like to thank those who spread the word for me," Gilan added. Halt glared at him. "So just let me do a quick head count," Gilan said more to annoy Halt than anything.

"Let's just get on with it," Halt snarled. He had no doubt in his mind that Gilan was enjoying this too much.

"Very well," Gilan said a little deflated but he quickly perked back up as he stepped into the semi-circle next to the second year apprentice.

Halt and Crowley both turned to the water and dipped the stick of soap in it so it was slippery. Crowley glanced at Halt before he shoved the bubbly cleaner into his mouth. Halt did the same a moment later. All around Rangers were smiling and watching them. Gilan was smiling the widest; seeing as he was the mastermind that he was, he had done something…interesting to the soap when he had been planning this all out. When he saw Crowley's eyes widen somewhat he decided it was time he made his exit before Halt discovered the change as well.

Halt looked at the Rangers that were watching the procession and was tempted to wipe the smirks off all their faces. A movement to the right side of the group caught his eye and he was just in time to see Gilan leaving. Halt would have frowned had his mouth not been stuffed with soap; it was Gilan who had set this up so why would he not stay to see it through? A moment later the answer revealed itself to Halt; he tried to adjust the soap in his mouth but found that it stuck to the inside of his mouth. He glanced at Crowley whose eyes were panicked at the discovery. They stayed standing at the bank of the river for another five minutes before one of the smirking Rangers came forward. It really was funny watching their faces contort as they tasted the soap. Several Rangers were chuckling as Halt glared at them.

"Time's up, you can take the soap out of your mouth. It should be thoroughly cleaned by now. Just remember not to teach the young ones everything you know," the Ranger said cheerily. When neither Halt nor Crowley made a move to remove the bar from their mouth he frowned. "I said you could take it out. Unless you're keen to eat it for supper."

"Mhmmm…mmm hmm," Crowley said. The Ranger raised his eyebrow.

"Sorry, not too familiar with that language," he replied and Halt glared at him. The Ranger knew something was wrong but didn't seem to want to hurry things along and help.

Halt figured enough was enough and tried to pull the bar of soap from his mouth but was unsuccessful; whatever Gilan had placed on the soap was strong. Eventually he gave up and glanced at Crowley who had had similar success. Around the half circle Ranger were starting to laugh now that they realized what had happened. Halt glanced around the circle, he was sure Gilan was still here. Just hiding. Halt spotted the apprentice hiding behind several of the senior Rangers and his face twisted into a mask of fury. He was lying on the ground laughing. Without warning Halt took after him. Gilan jumped up as those in front of him stepped aside. He raced away into the forest with Halt trailing not far behind him.

* * *

Crowley worked his jaw muscles as he sat down with several other Rangers for supper. They had finally removed the soap from his mouth with much water and several yelps of pain. Halt and Gilan still hadn't come back and Crowley was considering whether he should discard of the Oakleaf Gilan was scheduled to get. He was sure Halt wasn't going to let Gilan away with this. Before Crowley could say hello to the several Rangers he was sitting with a yell broke out from the forest and Crowley smiled. Halt had finally gotten Gilan. An hour or so later Halt came storming out of the forest with no bar of soap in his mouth and no Gilan behind him. Crowley looked at him inquisitively but didn't say anything as the grizzled Ranger marched to his tent muttering some things that should have gotten him another soap treatment.

The next morning Gilan came out of the forest a little tentatively. Crowley couldn't help but notice how he avoided his mentor at every possible chance. He was glad he wasn't the subject of Halt's anger this Gathering.

**Please review, wasn't the best ending but it needed one**


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